Soriano using recycled plastic bags to catch fly balls

OK, Lima Bean posse, this is where I openly rant about anything and everything affecting our general mental health diet. We'll call it Organic Sports Therapy... Grocery bagger guy: I don't need a bag for a banana dude! And I won't feed your bagging addiction. Stop being such bagwhores. Baggers everywhere, grocery and retail: Please stop bagging my [read more...]

Used groin for sale

As I've mentioned many times before, I developed a mysterious groin injury while playing recreational soccer -- which I believe to be a "sports hernia", as defined by the sporting world, and often referred to by the media. But it has been easily confused with a common inguinal hernia, whereas these are completely different medical problems, complicating the diagnosis [read more...]

Giddy up, does Tom Brady in drag turn me on?

I'm pretty sure I don't want to know the answer to that, because it will most likely keep me awake at night, questioning my sexuality again. Is he pretty? Why do you make me sweat at night with your sexy touchdowns cute quarterback? What I do know is that Cate Blanchett playing Bob Dylan in the Zimmy biopic I'm [read more...]

How do you spell d-y-n-a-s-t-y?

When the Scripps National Spelling Bee comes to ESPN/ABC at the end of the month, I expect to feel numb -- almost stung. It's been over 22 years since I heard that cacophonous bell during the St. Theresa school spelling bee. I felt paralyzed. I ruined my shot at the three-peat, which would have culminated with four [read more...]

A sports-herniated tale of groinal melancholy

I've recently come to grips with the fact that my budding career in the over 30 "B" League of the Asheville Buncombe Adult Soccer Association is probably over. And it's been a mental hernia -- a sports hernia to be exact -- which seems like the equivalent of impotence. Ask any athlete who has been treated for this injury [read more...]

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